I Am The Best Mom!

Oh yes! If in doubt, ask my kiddos!

My kiddos regularly say I am the best mom.
I know I am not but still I accept with deep thanks their love for me – it’s God’s gift.
I know it is the adult me and other adults who say I am not the best mom, or them not the best mom, or them not the best person.

But my kiddos know better. They appreciate who I am and not look for who I am not compared to others; they appreciate what I can do and not look for what I do imperfectly compared to others; they appreciate my love and not look for another mom.

The more they appreciate me regardless of the condition we are in, the more I feel their overflowing love. The more thankful and happier I am!

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My kiddos always find me something that they know I will like — for sure!

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We adults have a lot to learn from the kids.

- No comparing. Appreciate the person who loves you.
- The best doesn’t mean perfect.
- No need to focus on imperfection, love instead.
- There can be a billion bests. It only needs people who are grateful enough.

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The best brick vase! The best dried flower! The best stick!

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Happy mother’s day to the best mom — YOU ARE THE BEST MOM!

If in doubt, be kiddolike.

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“Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “‘From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?” - Matthew 21:16

Gotcha!

I love this day. And yesterday. And the day before yesterday.

I had breakfast with my hubby – home made daing na bangus (dried milkfish).

Fresh from yesterday’s catch from Aling Nene’s Pond in Valenzuela.

My angler boys made another trip to the pond sans the girls. Could they be challenged from our earlier visit where our one and only take home fish is caught by the mom (that’s me!)?

Here are the photos of the fishing trip 2 days ago and yes, let’s define ‘caught’ later on.

Here’s the first catch of the day! The fish is not big enough to take home so back to the water. And the triumphant smile goes to my heart!

Here’s the 2^nd catch of the day! The fish is not big enough to take home so again back to the water. And the happy smile goes to my heart!

Here’s the 3^rd catch of the day! The fish is too small to take home so again back to the water. And yes, the grateful smile goes to my heart! Finally, he caught one after several fishes got away from the hook.

Here’s the big catch of the day! Just big enough to take home for sinigang

And yes, I caught it and here’s how:

1. The boys have been convincing me to fish instead of roaming around and so I agreed.
2. My son put the mashed flour bait in the hook and cast it to the direction I pointed.
3. I held the rod, occasionally looking at the floater, while I read a home magazine.
4. Then I felt something is pulling my rod and so I screamed. I screamed!
5. The boys saved me from the struggling fish!

It’s obvious I caught the fish, right?

Hurray for the girls!

And so the next day – that was yesterday, the boys were determined to beat the record. And they succeeded with 18 take home fishes! They were so excited that they forgot to take photos but it’s alright, I’m enjoying the daing na bangus. Not even the vinegar can stop me from smiling sweetly

There is so much to thank for…

Love.

Fun.

Togetherness.

And hey, don’t be disappointed with the small fish catch because there are large ones meant for the seasoned angler — 10 kilos and above.

As for the family, the priority is to catch smiles and we did!

Now going? Aling Nene has cottages on the side.

And in the middle — go rafting!

And yes, you can fish without renting a cottage.

Enjoy the day!

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Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?

- Luke 11:11

Billboards As Breathing Spaces

BUY, PICK, LUST!

Every day I am confronted in the road by screaming billboards. Reminding me that I have yet to own the latest in fashion and technology; that I have yet to achieve the silkiest skin and society’s dream body; that their cake is chocolatier and the chicken is crispier.

It made me breathe less or shall I say that my breathing is heavier, harder  — “Chocolate cake or dream body? Latest in fashion or crispy chicken?” It’s hard to satisfy advertisers at the same time — more so if you are not at all interested but somehow compelled to want it.

I dream of regular road travels that will leave me breathless of nature’s beauty and abundance. And today I want to thank Artist Stephen Glassman for his dream of putting a crack in the urban skyline and allow us to take a breath despite the traffic.

Urban Air will transform existing old urban billboards to breathing spaces with suspended bamboo gardens.

 

To make this come true at least $100,000.00 pledges is needed — and then the project will be funded. Please check the team behind the project in their  KickStarter page.

I can’t wait to see similar project here in the Philippines.

I can’t wait to see a whispering billboard reminding me to BREATHE, PRAISE, LOVE.

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Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD. – Psalm 150:6

Adios Amigos

It’s been weeks since I last visited your place and my place.

I am tempted to finally say, “Adios Amigos.”

But here I am saying instead, “Ahhh Diyos Amigos!”

Diyos is the Filipino translation for God.

“It’s God my friends!”

Who else will stop the flood caused by 11 straight days of monsoon rain?

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Who else will make Filipinos smile in hope?

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 Who else will provide what you need most?

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Who else will soak  you in love?

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Who else will make one fit for the ohlifepics?

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Who else will lay down his life for us?

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Ahhh Diyos Amigos!

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Where ever you are right now — down the deep or floating on air

Whatever you may be doing right now — laughing in pain or crying in happiness

We both know that God alone knows His purpose for us — and it is good.

I believe that even when I feel like something so bad is happening to me.

I believe that feelings are not always the truth — but He is.

I choose to believe because…

it’s raining hard again outside!

Ahhh Diyos Amigos!

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The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed. -Psalm 7:16

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Note: Photos are not mine as I can’t be everywhere while there’s flood.

It’s Friday The 13th — My Birthday!

Hello it’s Friday the 13^th, are you afraid? You may have a friggatriskaidekaphobia, the fear of this day and date.

Me, I can’t afford to be afraid of Friday the 13^th because sometimes my birthday falls on this day – like today!

Happy birthday to me!

Because it’s my birthday I got to share with you what happened yesterday. Before leaving for the office, my daughter accidentally broke our mirror. On my way to the office, I saw a teen’s body lying on a pool of blood. Later on I learned that he was hit by the car and sadly he was dead – God bless his soul.

And those happened on Thursday the 12^th.

Just saying that what one might fear on a Friday the 13^th might be actually happening any time, any day. Just saying that it’s not fair to fear 13 just because it’s next to what is perceived as the perfect number – 12. Twelve months in a year, twelve gods of Olympus, twelve numbers on the clock– and maybe 12 eggs in a box.

How about you, how would you feel if some people decided they don’t like you just because they like the perfect lady in front of you?

Because it’s my birthday I got to share with you what happened yesterday. My parents brought me big prawns, big squid, big fishes, big crabs, big smiles and big love! My officemates had pasta delivered as pre-birthday celebration –- surely we will have a feast on the day itself! My hubby and kiddos, as usual, their love made me smile!

And those happened on Thursday the 12^th.

Just saying that there are many blessings in a day that we might have missed because we focused on our fears. Just saying that it’s not fair to frighten ourselves because of superstitions. Just saying that it is one year with twelve months, that there is only one true God amongst more than 12 idols, that I’m writing this on the 13^th hour – and there are 6 eggs in a box which are perfect.

How about you, how do you feel when you decided to appreciate and see beauty, just as is?

Because it’s my birthday I got to share with you my birthday song. Hopefully you’ll take time checking it.

Some people find the lyrics weird and might not like it. I am weird and you might not like me. But I like the song and somebody surely likes me, even loves me – just as I am. You know, the One who can make all things possible.

Happy Friday the 13^th everyone! Shine!

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This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

Higher, O Higher!

Photo from Bluebell Books Twitter Club Short Story Slam Week 22.

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“He lifted and carried me up with all his might!”

This is Bianca’s doting memory of her Dad when she was a little girl – and really heavy for a 5 year-old. But it didn’t matter, the weight –for love.

It was all good until she felt that he had dropped her down, the family down – real hard.

It was bad.

It was all bad until she felt that he had tried to lift himself up, the family up – real hard.

This is Bianca’s painful memory of her Dad when she was a young girl – and really hopeful for a 9 year-old. It did matter, the wait – for love.

“He lifted and carried my Dad up with all His love!”

This is Bianca’s powerful praise of God now that she’s a teen – and really lovely in and out for a 14-year old. It did matter, the forgiveness – for love.

It was good.

“They lifted and carried me up with all their might and love!”

This is Bianca’s heart song of her Dad and God forever — higher, O higher!

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As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:9

Why I’m Sad with the Result of the American Idol Season 11

Or any other contest where a Filipino or with a hint of a Filipino wasn’t proclaimed the winner.

Ugly words can be heard all over. Or is it just me who doesn’t like the sound of “Racism” when it could really be not. Or “The winner is not really beautiful or smart or talented” or “The judges and voters are unfair”.

Millions of Filipinos could be bitter, salty, sour or a combination of two or three.

I am not sure if there’s even a food that tastes good with all three flavors in it.

I am a Filipino with 1 liter of Chinese blood. And I would be one of the happiest if Jessica Sanchez won the American Idol title.

I am a human with 5 liters of red blood. And I would be one of the happiest if we are gracious enough to accept that someone is better than us by human standard.

I am not a TV fan thus I’m not a fanatic of American Idol or any show. If I can, I only watch the finals where a Filipino is a finalist. I love Filipinos — how they can be very resilient, kind, beautiful, talented – but even then, no race has a monopoly of these qualities.

I may be sad but I am happy as well with the result of American Idol Season 11. A Filipina is first runner up. Wow! Congratulations Jessica Sanchez! You are a great singer and how you have dealt with the defeat is a sure win!

And congratulations Phillip Phillips! How you dealt with victory sealed the title! I enjoyed your finale performance and I like the song “Home” especially the line, “Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear…”

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He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means, “Be opened!”)– Mark 7:34

ONE OF THE FINEST MOMENTS IN MARRIAGE

Giving thanks when things are going well in marriage is easy

but giving thanks when things are not going well in marriage is very challenging

but it could be one of the finest moments.

It leads one to the inner recesses of the soul to intentionally look for something good

and see God’s child whom He dearly love and wants us to love as well.

Today it’s easy to give thanks for my hubby

1.For the love 2. For taking care of me when I am sick 3. For working hard for the family 4. For the fishballs, squid balls, kikiams 19 years ago 5.  For praying for me 6.  For kiddos basketball ring 7. For waiting patiently 8. For the almond nuts 9. For the times you are happy being with me 10. For the friendship 11. For the precious kingdom 12. For the wristwatches 13. For the moments you are in love with me 14. For the sandwiches 15. For the hurts that pulled me closer to God 16. For the black Chanel bag 17. For holding my hands 18. For singing in the church 19. For the struggles that taught me how to let go 20. For sharing your fishing accessories for my crafts 21. For repairing the chairs 22. For the morning kisses 23. For the diamond ring 24. For fixing the lights 25. For playing with the kids 26. For bargain hunting with me 27. For sharing your thoughts on church service message 28. For the body massage 29. For lot hunting 30. For your beautiful smile 31. For the mini delivery vans 32. For dreaming happy times with me 33. For attending marriage encounter 34. For family vacations 35. For time for just the two of us 36. For coming home 37. For coming to God.

My dearest that’s only 37 reasons because it’s your 37^th birthday!

If you want to hear a hundred, then grow old with me!

One day the heart may not forget the wonderful feeling of being loved

but it might forget the details and so I record them.

I have several journals and it’s a golden one for my hubby

– just because it’s easier to dream for a happy golden anniversary with it!

Truly one of the finest moments in marriage is giving thanks.

For this moment, can you think of at least 5 reasons why you’re thankful for your partner? You may or may not share it with me but you must ensure that you share it with your partner. They will surely love to hear it direct from you!

 

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds

– Hebrews 10:24

Let Us See: Invisible Mercedes-Benz

Let us see

if we can find the Mercedes-Benz

 Oh we found it!

INVISIBLE STORY HEREIN

And the comments that exposed my teeth are here!

- I’m sending an invisible car payment to the loan company

- I have a similar feature on my car. My Lamboghini is cloaked to look like an AMC Gremlin. So far nobody suspects a thing.

- My invisible Mercedes is sitting in my invisible McMansion’s garage next to my invisible super-model wife’s invisible Porsche.

- I’ve been invisible to women for years.

- Why is there so much invisible money in my wallet???

- i drove this car to my doctor, and he said he couldnt see me today,,,

- Hey I just got hit by a …………….uh uh I know I wasn’t drinking………license plate number??? I told you it came out of nowhere. What!!! taking me to the police station, what for?? Officer you gotta believe me!!! LOOK, LOOK there goes another one – WHAT !!!! you didn’t see it !!! UHHHHH

- (invisible comment)

We have no doubt at all of the car’s existence before we figure out where it is, right?

Why could that be?

Because we trust the manufacturer?

Because we believe in the genius of humans?

Ever wonder why it’s so hard for some to believe in the existence of God?

Why they cannot trust the Creator?

Why they cannot believe in God’s genius despite how awesome His creations are?

Let us see…

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. – 1 John 4:12

Fish and Oil and Heaven’s Cure

Catch the smile!

Sharing my hubby’s big smile when he caught a 0.87kgs sea bream (bakoko) – we caught the smile as well! Surely he will catch something bigger than that – fish or not! We’re preparing for that bigger smile – by smiling now!

Smile – heaven’s cure!

Sharing my family’s love for massage – my hubby and I massage each other; I massage each of my kiddos, all of them massage me. And when we’re all dead tired, the masseur puts us into sleep – that we may wake up minus the sore. Thanks to Heaven’s Cure Body Oil, Massage Gel and Coco Rub!

Touch Therapy – heaven’s cure!

Sharing my love for fish oil capsules – for preventing ordinary cells from mutating into cancer cells! But the most obvious effect on me is it eased up my depressions. Yup I prayed much about it that it better leave me and if one of the ways is to welcome the fish in, why not? I prefer the fish than the devil!

I even applied the fish oil in my toes that got itchy after trying different shoes in Payless. Gone! As if eaten by the fish – similar to fish spa where, without mercy, you allow the fishes to bite your dead skin. Yay! Thanks Squalene – you’re beyond skin deep!

Fish and oil – heaven’s cure!

And how about you — would you care enough to share something that you love and makes you smile?

You — heaven’s cure!

 

You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness beyond your companions; – Psalm 45:7

A Christmas Story, Anytime

Prompt from Bluebell Books Short Story Slam Week 19

Image Credit to Whitebook @ DeviantArt, titled A Christmas Story for Rezzan

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I ran away from him. It was Christmas time.

That was years ago. Not for good. Just for awhile.

I was confused and in pain.

Faith is amazing. It made me go back.

It connected me to God.

Faith is trusting in the now – that right now great things are unfolding no matter how unbelievable it is. What seems dead may be breathing for new life.

Faith is being excited about tomorrow – that tomorrow great things will be unfolded no matter how unbelievable it may be. What seems dead is alive and fruitful!

Faith is amazing. Faith got me back.

It connected me to God’s graces.

I was overwhelmed and in His arms.

That is now and tomorrow. For good. Not just for awhile.

I ran towards Him. It is me, Rea.

 

Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour. - Matthew 15:28

Umbrella Of Grace

For Bluebell Books: Short Story Slam Week 18

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“Lovely daisies,” said the woman beside Dee.

“This is for my best friend, to cheer her up. But she’ll have this later, the rain won’t stop,” replied Dee.

“Oh, I have an extra umbrella here. Please use it,” offered the woman.

“Are you sure? You’re an angel!” remarked Dee thankfully.

“I am very sure! That is not an ordinary umbrella though. It’s an umbrella of grace,” revealed the woman.

Dee can’t believe her luck. She can’t get off her mind too what the woman said:

“Remember that an umbrella of grace is available for you to use each time there is rain of challenges. All you have to do is accept it, open it, and use it.”

“When you are forced to walk in the rain, allow your senses to be awakened by each drop of cold rain that you may understand how much others need as well the umbrella of grace.  No, you need not pray that it will be provided to them. Pray that they accept it, open it, and use it because it is readily available — for free.”

“And hey, don’t be surprised if wings show up and take you to miracles. Faith moves impossibilities.”

 

I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. – Psalm 61:4

January. JaNewRay. TheNewRay

NEW:

1. Having been made or come into being only a short time ago
2. Still fresh

RAY:

1. Radiance; light
2. A small amount; a trace
3. A straight line extending from a point

Let’s talk about new old things. By old, I mean something that already exists or has been always there. And yes, something old can definitely be new.

It can be new when the eyes are new; when the perspective is new; when the heart is new; when the self is new.

How can two people who regularly saw the same sunray not have the same reaction — one saw it with a smile and the other one just squint and frown?

Could the person have seen a ray of hope and that ray is more than enough?

Or he simply saw a ray?

Could the person have seen a burst of warm love and felt it deeply?

Or he simply saw a ray?

Could the person have seen an extended grace and never doubts its source?

Or he simply saw a ray?

Shall we now look close enough with the old and discover something new? I just did.

January. JaNewRay. TheNewRay,Yeah!

TheNewRea? But my hubby isn’t old —  yet

Happy New Year! Happy New You!

 

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. – Ezekiel 36:26-27

Cinderella’s Christmas Tea

Cinderella on Her Tea Break from Bluebell Books: Short Story Slam Week 17

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“Surely the shoe will fit me. It’s mine.”

“And I’m a princess now?”

“But what if there’s no fairy godmother?”

“And I wasn’t able to attend the ball?”

“And what if the glass shoe didn’t slip from my foot?”

“Oh, why do I need to analyze everything? Time for tea!”

There’s jasmine, chamomile, lemon, ginger, green tea…

What caught her eye though is the Christmas tea.

“Yes, I’ll have Christmas tea! Christmas is for miracles and I had just one!”

As Cinderella sipped the spirit of Christmas, she felt calm and her mind restored.

“Great things will be poured upon us for reason that we know nothing of. We need not figure out why but simply take it in with deep thanks.”

And Cinderella decided to live happy thereafter.

But not without sharing how to prepare Christmas tea!

Directions:

1. Pour faith over bag of events in a cup of grace.

2. Let it steep with prayers.

3. Add a sweetener such as trusting smile.

4. Sip with gratitude.

5. For best partea, serve others.

 

“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. – Acts 2:17

Cross Stitches

 

I found it hard to breath. My throat slowly closed. Rashes rushed in.

I passed the allergy test yet the anti-biotic failed and caused me to gasp for air.

Human affirmation is not enough. God’s grace is.

I thank God for the recent cross.

It is painful, especially the unseen wound but the cross stitches.

It fastens together the family with threads of love.

It mends broken souls.

It embosses the heart with an attitude of gratitude.

Thank you so much friends and family for your prayers — for bringing it all to Him.

Thank you so much hubby for taking care of me. For bringing the kiddos to the hospital that I may not miss our normally messy yet love-filled moments as family. I love you.

Thank you so much kiddos for the hugs, kisses, smiles, and love. I love you all.

Thank you youngest daughter for the question, “Mommy are you healed already?”

“The operation is over but the healing goes on.”

“But I prayed to Jesus to heal you.”

“You did? Thank you!”

A stitch in time saves mine — my life beyond the breathing level.

 

 

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.

- Psalm 107: 19-20

That Smile

looked beyond the lens

confident of devotion

effortless smile

looked beyond the truth

convinced oneself it’s unreal

bittersweet smile

looked beyond what’s seen

trusting the One who sees all

reassured smile

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For Gooseberry Garden on Photos, Nostalgia, Memories, and Families

 

Life goes on. Despite several endings. Life goes on. Despite several deaths.

Life goes on. Because there are endings. Life goes on. Because there are deaths.

If you are beside me now you’ll know that I am actually babbling.

I am not even sure if I am dazed or tired or both or anything else.

But I am so sure that I am sincerely grateful for all of you.

You who brought love, hope, blessings, prayers, and all good things in here.

Would you bring some too for BAYLIS?

He is a good man with epilepsy, aphasia and Parkinson’s.

He had brain tumor removed and will have a cataract surgery on both eyes next month. Thank you for your prayers.

He was a University Professor and a Pastor (if I’m not mistaken) and so much more — maybe Baylis can tell us.

When I think of Baylis, I can’t help but remember Job —  Job who was challenged with difficult circumstances and still kept his faith in God.

Baylis, despite his difficult circumstances, still managed to appreciate and encourage others — like me. Thank you so much!

And I am sure he has a very special smile – maybe he can tell us about that too!

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“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” – Job 42:2

But Time Won’t

Image from Bluebell Books Short Story Slam Week 15.

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Grain by grain, bit by bit, each moment drops.

It is a slow death.

“Will somebody bond those grains together, form it in one big ball, and roll it into oblivion!”

With pains oozing from her whole being she wants nothing but to speed up time.

But time won’t.

 

Grain by grain, bit by bit, each moment drops.

It is an expeditious death.

“Will somebody crush each grain, turn it into millions, and fuse within me through eternity!”

With love oozing from her whole being she wants nothing but to slow down time.

But time won’t.

 

Our hands are almost same size now! Hands may let go but heart won't. Happy 10th Birthday Benedict! I love you! We love you!

 

Today is my son’s 10th birthday! He’s growing up so fast. Five months ago I wasn’t able to control my tears when he left for 1^st day in school –his 1^st day wearing pants uniform. The year before that he was still wearing khaki shorts – my young boy. Oops got to stop now else today turns out a Saddy Birthday.

Happy 10^th Birthday Dearest Son! I’ll share with the world 10 things I am thankful for about YOU!

1. You love numbers. A math whiz just like your Dad!
2. You love letters. My scrabble, boggle, and book buddy!
3. You handle your money well – you trust your Mom to handle it for you!
4. You are not a complainer.  “Mommy please buy me a new shirt. This doesn’t fit well with me anymore after 4 years.” Or are you?
5. You know how to give thanks. “Thank you sooo much Mommy for the new book! I will massage you for two months.” How can I not give someone like you a whole library?
6. You are thoughtful. Most of the times you spend your Kid’s Church bucks to buy something for your sisters and brother – and sometimes for Mom and Dad too! We are all touched!
7. You are sweet. You tinker with me – bending wires, sanding woods, appreciating junk!
8. You excel in what you like to do. Just like your Dad! You deserve all those medals that you give to us!
9. You cry. Just like your Mom! Let those tears remind you not to make others cry in pain. Make others cry in joy? That will make me cry!
10. You love God. Because you do, you love us too – thank you sooo much! I love you! We love you!

 

There are more reasons why I am thankful for you but I’m not writing them all here right now.

There is no hurry – writing them.

Let’s hurry now – finishing our crafts, hunting for books, loving each other, creating memories…

 

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

Thank You For Your Prayers

 

Yes thank you so much for your prayers that you will be saying in a little while.

I opened my email today and read this…

Please pray for my baby. 

 She had seizures last Saturday 3 times, once last Friday. She would stare blankly to her right then her hands would jerk for about 40 seconds. The pediatrician advised that we observe her further — if it persists, we’ll schedule an EEG for her. 

 From Sunday until now, there were no jerky movements on her hands and feet, except for the blank stares of around 5 seconds each. This usually happens when she’s being breastfed. I am scared…

My blog friend Maricel is scared. She’s a first time mom — even nth time mom would be scared.  Let’s join her pray for the baby. Let’s pray for this mom too.

Aloud, in whisper, in silence — God hears them all, right?

 

 

And I read too a number of emails these past few weeks all with warm message of, “I have been thinking of you and praying for you. I hope all is well…”

And all I can say to God is, “Thank you so much for blessing me with these wonderful people in my life. Please bless them more.”

Aloud, in whisper, in silence – God hears them all, right?

 

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:19-20

Healing Bath

Image from Bluebell Books: Short Story Slam Week 14

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I am letting go. I no longer want to wait.

No more waiting for the phone to ring. No more checking my e-mail twice a day. No more torturing myself thinking of you. From hopeful to edgy; to depressed; to desperate; to discouraged — I am now letting go.

It’s about time to soak my callous heart in healing bath, scrub away your lies, indulge in heaven scent dreams and rinse with confidence that there are wonderful revelations ahead of me.

I love tub for one. I can close my eyes knowing I am safe alone. There’s no one to highlight flaws and no one to crush the spirit.

Oh there’s rubber ducky to remind me to not to be so hard with myself and to smile despite the emptiness inside. Grace will fill all the empty spaces…

 

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. – 1 Peter 5:10

Day 31: Remember Your Death Experiences

 

Less than a month ago I discovered a lump in my breast. What immediately came to mind is the possibility of breast cancer and of near-death. It made me pause and check myself.

There was no fear. There was no worry. How could it be?

I realized that I have been prepared for this – with my death experiences.

Death of dreams.

Death of trust.

Death of happiness.

Death of confidence.

Death of enthusiasm.

Death of hope.

Death of courage.

Death of spirit.

With those deaths I never asked, “Why? Why? Why?”  But nevertheless I am now given an answer if ever I ask, “WHY?!”

I was being prepared to give birth to my faith.

I gave birth to 4 living babies and my 1 unborn was taken from inside. Pure labor and pain before the release of lives from within me – very much like the birth of faith.

Please click for other days.

 

It’s Day 31 of Feeling Good! And I’m talking about death? Surely death is painful if we focus on the loss. But if we shift our focus to what it gave birth to – it has beauty on its own.

I never thought that faith alone could give birth to so many wonderful things.

Birth of dreams.

Birth of trust.

Birth of happiness.

Birth of confidence.

Birth of enthusiasm.

Birth of hope.

Birth of courage.

Birth of spirit.

Yes, what were lost are best lost. Now I have new ones — better ones plus so much more.

And oh, the lump in my breast is possibly not cancerous. The doctor told me to go back after a month to confirm if I need an operation but as of now, it subsided already. Death of lump?

Now tell me, how can I not feel good? Sometimes feeling good is not about feelings but about trust. That we are better off with it; how others are better off with it – with what is given or taken away.

This is the end of my 31 Days of Feeling Good series – but not the end of feeling good!

 

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4