Once upon a time, there was a line between hubby and me.

Line of destructive priorities.

Line of selfishness.

Line of pride.

Line of shame.

Line of hatred. Yes. Yes. Yes.

There was a cross.

I saw the cross differently back then.

And so I wanted to run away from it.

After all it was heavy and left me bleeding inside.

But I wasn’t able to go far. It was painful to walk away wounded and bleeding.

I needed a healer.

And then I saw the cross anew

It stitched my wounds.

It helped me cross the line of surrender.

It brought me to the Healer.

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Drawn To The Crossby L. Mirabueno

Drawn To The Cross
by L. Mirabueno

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I had the painting commissioned. I want to be reminded when I was drawn to the cross and not away from it. That there is no point in running away because love is all it is. It is not just cupid’s love but the love of the Father and the Son for mankind — for us sinners.

Jesus saved us on the cross. It is not a lovely sight knowing that the Father is grieving but — He loves us.

Jesus saved us on the cross. He took our shame and He is not ashamed — He loves us.

And where is my hubby in all of these?

In the title! 🙂

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You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. – Romans 5:6

🙂

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Higher, O Higher!

07/05/2012


Photo from Bluebell Books Twitter Club Short Story Slam Week 22.

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“He lifted and carried me up with all his might!”

This is Bianca’s doting memory of her Dad when she was a little girl – and really heavy for a 5 year-old. But it didn’t matter, the weight –for love.

It was all good until she felt that he had dropped her down, the family down – real hard.

It was bad.

It was all bad until she felt that he had tried to lift himself up, the family up – real hard.

This is Bianca’s painful memory of her Dad when she was a young girl – and really hopeful for a 9 year-old. It did matter, the wait – for love.

“He lifted and carried my Dad up with all His love!”

This is Bianca’s powerful praise of God now that she’s a teen – and really lovely in and out for a 14-year old. It did matter, the forgiveness – for love.

It was good.

“They lifted and carried me up with all their might and love!”

This is Bianca’s heart song of her Dad and God forever — higher, O higher!

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As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. – Isaiah 55:9

🙂


Oh yes, I am not a good girl

I whipped someone with my words

I crushed myself with my thoughts

I fought out of pride

I allowed myself beaten

I wished for someone else’s death

I wished for my own death

.

 Oh yes, I am not a good girl

I cannot stop hating passionately

I cannot control my evil thoughts

I cannot move on from bitter past

I cannot have freedom from guilt

I cannot be a good girl on my own

Unless I am dependent on good God

*

Happy Independence Day to all my American Friends. This might means so much to you as it means so much to us Filipinos when we celebrate our independence from Spanish and American colonies. But honestly, I am not so sure if we are truly independent as a nation. Can one indeed be free just because the tangible prison wall is brought down?

What I am sure is I am free when I allow my Saviour to rescue me from the intangibles that imprison and stop me from being a good girl.

How about you, are you a good girl? Are you free?

You may not answer the questions but please feel free to listen to this  song.

*

In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free. – Psalm 118:5

🙂

Love Falls

03/07/2012


Him:    I love you!

Me:    I love you so much!

Him:    I love you so much more!   *kiss*

Me:    Thank you! I have a big smile 🙂 😉   *kiss*

Him:    I’m so happy that I made you smile 🙂


Sweet, huh?

That is not always the case because there was a time when the exchanges were, “I hate you!” and “I HATE YOU!”

Bitter, yeah.

Most of us might have tasted how bittersweet love can be. It will be the case as long as we are humans. And humans expect. And humans fall short of each other’s expectations.

Since human falls, love falls.

It falls…

But it can be picked up

And put altogether

But no, the pieces cannot be put all together

There will be cracks and holes and deformities

The question is, “What do you do with it?”

Glue it with insincere repentance?

Fill it with temporary pleasures?

Straighten things up to our satisfaction?

or

Let God seep through every crack.

Let God fill in the holes.

Let God show us that there is really no deformity

But something special.

And what do you do with something special?

Love it!

🙂

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147:3

🙂


Prompt from Bluebell Books Short Story Slam Week 19

Image Credit to Whitebook @ DeviantArt, titled A Christmas Story for Rezzan

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I ran away from him. It was Christmas time.

That was years ago. Not for good. Just for awhile.

I was confused and in pain.

Faith is amazing. It made me go back.

It connected me to God.

Faith is trusting in the now – that right now great things are unfolding no matter how unbelievable it is. What seems dead may be breathing for new life.

Faith is being excited about tomorrow – that tomorrow great things will be unfolded no matter how unbelievable it may be. What seems dead is alive and fruitful!

Faith is amazing. Faith got me back.

It connected me to God’s graces.

I was overwhelmed and in His arms.

That is now and tomorrow. For good. Not just for awhile.

I ran towards Him. It is me, Rea.

 

Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour. – Matthew 15:28

🙂

Sprinkles of Heaven

12/03/2011


 

It is cold inside

Does it have to be outside?

Warm them with your smile

 

It is cold outside

Does it have to be inside?

Defrost chilly heart

 

For Gooseberry Garden on November, Winter, Change, and Hope.

*

Earlier I had a schedule of breast ultrasound. It was still early in the morning and a weekend. No hurry, no worry.

But the radiologist had other plans. He wanted to hurry, to worry. He blah blah about I should have come earlier.

“But my appointment is between 8:00AM and 9:00AM and it’s only 8:30AM?”

“Yes, but if there are ten of you, only one shows up at 8:00AM and the rest at 9:00AM…blah blah blah.”

Thank God the procedure only takes around 5 minutes. I got to get out of that place fast but not without leaving some words in the reception with the lead amongst the staff.

“I come here for my well being not to seek for someone who will dampen my day. You are well aware that you charge much higher than other health companies, right? And that premium charges must be for a better service?”

“Yes, Ma’am and we’re really sorry. Will you please write here in our complaint form?”

“Write the complaint for what? Don’t tell me that this is the first time it happened because I won’t believe you. An attitude like that must have been well practiced.”

“I would be lying Ma’am if I say that this is the first time it happened with him.”

“What is the complaint form for? How many complaints do you need before you do something about it? If you can give me a figure and show me the number of complaints I will be more than willing to exert further effort.”

“We’re really sorry Ma’am for your bad experience. “

Oh well, it is December already but I remember Gooseberry Garden’s topic for November because of the incident. I need to cool down.

Good that my awesome daughter is with me – wearing an awesome shirt.

sprinkles of heaven - awesomeness

 

Good that my favorite green tea frappe is near.

sprinkles of heaven - book and green tea

 

Good that I have a good book with me – at the Still Point, an inspiring collection of devotional readings by Sarah Arthur.  And so I randomly open it and here’s what I get…

I saw the world end yesterday!

A flight of angels tore

Its cover off and Heaven lay

Where Earth had been before.

 

I walked about the countryside

And saw a cricket pass.

Then, bending closer, I espied

An ecstasy of grass.

(Eschaton by Elizabeth B. Rooney)

 

See the word bend in there? That made my day! And of course in the thought that sprinkles of heaven are all around if we choose to see!

And so I see the cool red shoes the man is wearing in the table besides us.

And the lovely floor!

sprinkles of heaven - red shoe and lovely floor

 

And I remember too some of my November blessings…

  1. All Saints Day and All Souls Day – that includes me and you, think about it
  2. 2011 People’s Manager Award – deliver results, engage today’s talent, shape the future
  3. November birthdays that brought my Mom and my son to me
  4. Family day, crafting days, bazaar
  5. Feast of St. Julian of Norvich who said:

“all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well”

“God made it, God loves it, God keeps it.” – referring to the nut size thing in God’s hand which is the entire universe

 

And so much more — including YOU!

 

From whose womb comes the ice? Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens. – Job 38:29

🙂


 

Less than a month ago I discovered a lump in my breast. What immediately came to mind is the possibility of breast cancer and of near-death. It made me pause and check myself.

There was no fear. There was no worry. How could it be?

I realized that I have been prepared for this – with my death experiences.

Death of dreams.

Death of trust.

Death of happiness.

Death of confidence.

Death of enthusiasm.

Death of hope.

Death of courage.

Death of spirit.

With those deaths I never asked, “Why? Why? Why?”  But nevertheless I am now given an answer if ever I ask, “WHY?!”

I was being prepared to give birth to my faith.

I gave birth to 4 living babies and my 1 unborn was taken from inside. Pure labor and pain before the release of lives from within me – very much like the birth of faith.

Please click for other days.

 

It’s Day 31 of Feeling Good! And I’m talking about death? Surely death is painful if we focus on the loss. But if we shift our focus to what it gave birth to – it has beauty on its own.

I never thought that faith alone could give birth to so many wonderful things.

Birth of dreams.

Birth of trust.

Birth of happiness.

Birth of confidence.

Birth of enthusiasm.

Birth of hope.

Birth of courage.

Birth of spirit.

Yes, what were lost are best lost. Now I have new ones — better ones plus so much more.

And oh, the lump in my breast is possibly not cancerous. The doctor told me to go back after a month to confirm if I need an operation but as of now, it subsided already. Death of lump?

Now tell me, how can I not feel good? Sometimes feeling good is not about feelings but about trust. That we are better off with it; how others are better off with it – with what is given or taken away.

This is the end of my 31 Days of Feeling Good series – but not the end of feeling good!

 

‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

🙂