Farewell Fare Well

10/28/2013


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My posts are coming very far between.

I think of you my blog friends.

I feel like I kept you hanging. Thank you for hanging around though.

It has been a crazy schedule and let me share to you how crazy it is, here.

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My holidays are planned already, 24/27.

I need to refocus. I need to inventory my life.

I am sorry that I need to say farewell to this refuge and to you my blog friends.

I started blogging when I decided that I needed to move on from a very painful season of my life.

Thank you for coming to my life one by one. Thank you for lifting me up, for understanding, and yes, for loving me just as I am.

I have moved on but that is not to say that I no longer hurt each time there are triggers to remind me.

But thank God, He is always there to comfort me.

And now I am moving on, again.

Shall we take one last look of how the spoons were bent?

arrrgghhhh

arrrgghhhh

aaahhhhhh

aaahhhhhh

uuuhhhhh

uuuhhhhh

easy huh! :) :) :) :(

easy huh! 🙂 🙂 🙂 😦

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The benders have grown now. Look what happened to them after three years — so fast.

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They continue to bloom wonderfully. Thank God.

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Got to create memories together with them.

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Fabia Paintings.Oct 2013

Blend into the colors of their lives.

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So this is it. Farewell to bended spoon. No, it won’t evolve to bent spoon. I liked it that way, when some still appreciates despite the imperfection.

Farewell bended spoon.

Fare well my friends. Bloom.

Bloom Painting

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Fare well. Fare well. Fare well.

Bloom. Bloom. Bloom.

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The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God. – Isaiah 35:1-2

🙂


 

Hungry to see my blog friend’s daily poem.

Yes, Debbie used to post daily poem from her daily Bible readings.

It blessed me.

Some of her poems made it to the walls of our room, my office and friends inbox.

Captured over images of moments enjoyed with my family.

They are special to me.

It speaks to me.

Like these…

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Poem from Deb's Blog - Nov. 13, 2010. Photo by bendedspoon.

Poem from Deb’s Blog – Nov. 13, 2010.
Photo by bendedspoon.

Daily baths only cleanse me physically.

I need more than that.

I need God.

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Poem from Deb's Blog - Jan.  31, 2011. Photo by bendedspoon.

Poem from Deb’s Blog – Jan. 31, 2011.
Photo by bendedspoon.

If I see no beauty, I see no God.

I got to see God.

Beauty follows.

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Poem from Deb's Blog - Dec. 23, 2010. Photo by bendedspoon.

Poem from Deb’s Blog – Dec. 23, 2010.
Photo by bendedspoon.

When something is wrong, sometimes my heart doesn’t feel right.

I seek Him.

He who makes my heart right.

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Poem from Deb's Blog - Jan. 14, 2011. Photo by bendedspoon.

Poem from Deb’s Blog – Jan. 14, 2011.
Photo by bendedspoon.

I heard words that crushed me, lingered long within.

I heard words that lifted me, temporary high.

I heard His Word, love assured.

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Whatever your circumstance right now, I believe there is a Simple Poem, Simple Faith in Deb’s Blog that will speak to you.

That will speak to you.

He will speak to you.

He will speak.

He will.

God.

If today we hear.

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‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ – Jeremiah 33:3

🙂

Bittersweet

08/20/2013


Knee-deep.

Waist-deep.

Chest-deep.

That’s how high the flood in some areas in the city due to tropical storm Maring (international name – Trami). Classes were suspended but since it’s not signal number 3, the working masses still need to go to their respective offices – if we can.

I can’t. The garage is flooded. Outside it’s flooded.

I can’t float in the flood. I can’t swim through the flood. I can’t fly over the flood.

I can only work at home.

Bittersweet. Not because I am working at home – I am used to it, working — beyond my working hours.

Bittersweet. Us, here, experiencing several storms in a year – the one before this, Labuyo (Utor), visited us just last week. I won’t talk about bitterness — just bittersweet. Because these storms oftentimes bring out the best in us.

We continuously learn how to rebuild.

We continuously hold on to the One who can calm the storms.

Bittersweet — I remember I have this book title by Shauna Niequist . And the first thing that I read was ‘on crying in the bathroom’ because I did cried in the bathroom. Not once, nor twice. Too many times – because it’s less messy to cry in the bathroom!

I can relate in most of the entries, not only because I too had a miscarriage, but because I know how bittersweet taste — and I know you do too.

So many bittersweet thoughts for the day and one of them is — my blog friends. I haven’t been a good friend for a long time. I was not able to visit them as much and when I did, some are no longer writing actively as well.

I know. I know. Our priorities do change as the need arises. We sometimes need to give up something in order to focus on to another thing. Bittersweet.

And like Shauna I also ask for help — to the One who truly knows my heart.

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'on crying in the bathroom' by Shauna Niequist

‘on crying in the bathroom’ by Shauna Niequist

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Yes, I would like to believe that too even though the storm outside is not leaving today.

Even though there is a storm inside.

Heart-deep.

Wish-deep.

Knee-dip.

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‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

🙂

I Am The Best Mom!

05/11/2013


Oh yes! If in doubt, ask my kiddos!

My kiddos regularly say I am the best mom.
I know I am not but still I accept with deep thanks their love for me – it’s God’s gift.
I know it is the adult me and other adults who say I am not the best mom, or them not the best mom, or them not the best person.

But my kiddos know better. They appreciate who I am and not look for who I am not compared to others; they appreciate what I can do and not look for what I do imperfectly compared to others; they appreciate my love and not look for another mom.

The more they appreciate me regardless of the condition we are in, the more I feel their overflowing love. The more thankful and happier I am!

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My kiddos always find me something that they know I will like -- for sure!

My kiddos always find me something that they know I will like — for sure!

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We adults have a lot to learn from the kids.

– No comparing. Appreciate the person who loves you.
– The best doesn’t mean perfect.
– No need to focus on imperfection, love instead.
– There can be a billion bests. It only needs people who are grateful enough.

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The best brick vase! The best dried flower! The best stick!

The best brick vase! The best dried flower! The best stick!

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Happy mother’s day to the best mom — YOU ARE THE BEST MOM!

If in doubt, be kiddolike.

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“Do you hear what these children are saying?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, “‘From the lips of children and infants you, Lord, have called forth your praise’?” – Matthew 21:16

🙂

Gotcha!

04/12/2013


I love this day. And yesterday. And the day before yesterday.

I had breakfast with my hubby – home made daing na bangus (dried milkfish).

Fresh from yesterday’s catch from Aling Nene’s Pond in Valenzuela.

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My angler boys made another trip to the pond sans the girls. Could they be challenged from our earlier visit where our one and only take home fish is caught by the mom (that’s me!)?

Here are the photos of the fishing trip 2 days ago and yes, let’s define ‘caught’ later on.

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Here’s the first catch of the day! The fish is not big enough to take home so back to the water. And the triumphant smile goes to my heart!

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Here’s the 2nd catch of the day! The fish is not big enough to take home so again back to the water. And the happy smile goes to my heart!

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Here’s the 3rd catch of the day! The fish is too small to take home so again back to the water. And yes, the grateful smile goes to my heart! Finally, he caught one after several fishes got away from the hook.

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Here’s the big catch of the day! Just big enough to take home for sinigang 🙂

And yes, I caught it and here’s how:

  1. The boys have been convincing me to fish instead of roaming around and so I agreed.
  2. My son put the mashed flour bait in the hook and cast it to the direction I pointed.
  3. I held the rod, occasionally looking at the floater, while I read a home magazine.
  4. Then I felt something is pulling my rod and so I screamed. I screamed!
  5. The boys saved me from the struggling fish!

It’s obvious I caught the fish, right?

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Hurray for the girls!

And so the next day – that was yesterday, the boys were determined to beat the record. And they succeeded with 18 take home fishes! They were so excited that they forgot to take photos but it’s alright, I’m enjoying the daing na bangus. Not even the vinegar can stop me from smiling sweetly 🙂

There is so much to thank for…

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Love.

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Fun.

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Togetherness.

And hey, don’t be disappointed with the small fish catch because there are large ones meant for the seasoned angler — 10 kilos and above.

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As for the family, the priority is to catch smiles and we did!

Now going? Aling Nene has cottages on the side.

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And in the middle — go rafting!

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And yes, you can fish without renting a cottage.

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Enjoy the day!

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Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?

– Luke 11:11

🙂


Once upon a time, there was a line between hubby and me.

Line of destructive priorities.

Line of selfishness.

Line of pride.

Line of shame.

Line of hatred. Yes. Yes. Yes.

There was a cross.

I saw the cross differently back then.

And so I wanted to run away from it.

After all it was heavy and left me bleeding inside.

But I wasn’t able to go far. It was painful to walk away wounded and bleeding.

I needed a healer.

And then I saw the cross anew

It stitched my wounds.

It helped me cross the line of surrender.

It brought me to the Healer.

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Drawn To The Crossby L. Mirabueno

Drawn To The Cross
by L. Mirabueno

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I had the painting commissioned. I want to be reminded when I was drawn to the cross and not away from it. That there is no point in running away because love is all it is. It is not just cupid’s love but the love of the Father and the Son for mankind — for us sinners.

Jesus saved us on the cross. It is not a lovely sight knowing that the Father is grieving but — He loves us.

Jesus saved us on the cross. He took our shame and He is not ashamed — He loves us.

And where is my hubby in all of these?

In the title! 🙂

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You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. – Romans 5:6

🙂

Linked

01/13/2013


Between sipping tea and shelling pistachios for breakfast I watched my cute daughter draw. It is a good day, a very good day, a very God day.

I just had a very full and tiring week at work and I see the next coming 18 months that way. I am afraid not of the loads of work but of the time I could be further missing my kiddos. We hardly began the focused works on the overhaul of systems and processes brought by the transition to our new company when I was identified as the potential weakest link in our team because I had pushed through with the holiday vacations with my family. They scheduled meetings on later part of 2012 and first week of 2013 but I declined. I appreciated I was chosen to be part of the team but it doesn’t mean I am giving up my most valuable team, my family.

I have assessed how I did in all the teams I was involved and holy mama I was strong! And I know that the very person who made the forecast was not able to realize his projects on time. Armed with that fact, I offered that they may take me out of the team because I was never ever a yes person. I believe in firm NO — NO to pulling down.

That is the reason why I only had tea and pistachios for breakfast this weekend — otherwise, I’ll have a heap of everything in the table, lol! But it felt good to slowly sip the tea and play with pistachio shells. It is very good to watch my daughter draw while she smiles to me from time to time. It is very good to smile for what God has for me.

 

beatrice. i love jesus

 

It is a very God day! He reminded me once more that I am loved and I am on His team — linked strongly!

Yes, I am still on the working team.

Yes, I am the missing link — missing you!

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The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.

– Habakkuk 3:19

🙂