Farewell Fare Well

10/28/2013


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My posts are coming very far between.

I think of you my blog friends.

I feel like I kept you hanging. Thank you for hanging around though.

It has been a crazy schedule and let me share to you how crazy it is, here.

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My holidays are planned already, 24/27.

I need to refocus. I need to inventory my life.

I am sorry that I need to say farewell to this refuge and to you my blog friends.

I started blogging when I decided that I needed to move on from a very painful season of my life.

Thank you for coming to my life one by one. Thank you for lifting me up, for understanding, and yes, for loving me just as I am.

I have moved on but that is not to say that I no longer hurt each time there are triggers to remind me.

But thank God, He is always there to comfort me.

And now I am moving on, again.

Shall we take one last look of how the spoons were bent?

arrrgghhhh

arrrgghhhh

aaahhhhhh

aaahhhhhh

uuuhhhhh

uuuhhhhh

easy huh! :) :) :) :(

easy huh! 🙂 🙂 🙂 😦

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The benders have grown now. Look what happened to them after three years — so fast.

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They continue to bloom wonderfully. Thank God.

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Got to create memories together with them.

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Fabia Paintings.Oct 2013

Blend into the colors of their lives.

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So this is it. Farewell to bended spoon. No, it won’t evolve to bent spoon. I liked it that way, when some still appreciates despite the imperfection.

Farewell bended spoon.

Fare well my friends. Bloom.

Bloom Painting

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Fare well. Fare well. Fare well.

Bloom. Bloom. Bloom.

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The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the Lord, the splendor of our God. – Isaiah 35:1-2

🙂

Bittersweet

08/20/2013


Knee-deep.

Waist-deep.

Chest-deep.

That’s how high the flood in some areas in the city due to tropical storm Maring (international name – Trami). Classes were suspended but since it’s not signal number 3, the working masses still need to go to their respective offices – if we can.

I can’t. The garage is flooded. Outside it’s flooded.

I can’t float in the flood. I can’t swim through the flood. I can’t fly over the flood.

I can only work at home.

Bittersweet. Not because I am working at home – I am used to it, working — beyond my working hours.

Bittersweet. Us, here, experiencing several storms in a year – the one before this, Labuyo (Utor), visited us just last week. I won’t talk about bitterness — just bittersweet. Because these storms oftentimes bring out the best in us.

We continuously learn how to rebuild.

We continuously hold on to the One who can calm the storms.

Bittersweet — I remember I have this book title by Shauna Niequist . And the first thing that I read was ‘on crying in the bathroom’ because I did cried in the bathroom. Not once, nor twice. Too many times – because it’s less messy to cry in the bathroom!

I can relate in most of the entries, not only because I too had a miscarriage, but because I know how bittersweet taste — and I know you do too.

So many bittersweet thoughts for the day and one of them is — my blog friends. I haven’t been a good friend for a long time. I was not able to visit them as much and when I did, some are no longer writing actively as well.

I know. I know. Our priorities do change as the need arises. We sometimes need to give up something in order to focus on to another thing. Bittersweet.

And like Shauna I also ask for help — to the One who truly knows my heart.

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'on crying in the bathroom' by Shauna Niequist

‘on crying in the bathroom’ by Shauna Niequist

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Yes, I would like to believe that too even though the storm outside is not leaving today.

Even though there is a storm inside.

Heart-deep.

Wish-deep.

Knee-dip.

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‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

🙂

Super Storm

11/01/2012


waves by Sandy — yahoo news Oct 27, 2012

 

To those who are affected by super storm Sandy, my prayers are with you.

I was worried in the thought that some might not be used to storms and its effect thus might be greatly devastated. But then I realized that we are all humans equipped with coping mechanism by no less than our Mighty Creator. Yes, that’s only how far we can go alone, coping — getting by. But living with life (there’s living like dead, right?) is only possible with God.

I myself have been through so many storms since I was conceived up to now — be it life’s storms that hits like nothing else or the powerful wind and rain that hit Philippines 20 times a year on the average.

Looking back, I realized how much I appreciated storms when I was a little girl. After candle lit nights due to power outage I would excitedly go out and appreciate the brighter surroundings — brighter because some trees fell or branches were broken. I would go around picking fallen fruits and coconuts and was so excited when I found a turtle! I was aware that there was damage but my young eyes were appreciative of the clean up.

When I got older, especially when I became a mom, it was different. There were worries on possible shortage of food or drowning in the flood. There were worries on severance of relationships and drowning in despair.

There is worry until there is trust in the Lord. Until I talk with the Lord. Until I connect with the Lord.

As human, there is only so much that I can do. The more I worry of what I cannot do, the more I am not able to do what I can do — like entrusting my worries to the Lord.

I am worried about you — and I am entrusting you to the Lord who can carry us through storms and give the warmest comfort.

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He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. – Psalm 107:29

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Oh yes, I am not a good girl

I whipped someone with my words

I crushed myself with my thoughts

I fought out of pride

I allowed myself beaten

I wished for someone else’s death

I wished for my own death

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 Oh yes, I am not a good girl

I cannot stop hating passionately

I cannot control my evil thoughts

I cannot move on from bitter past

I cannot have freedom from guilt

I cannot be a good girl on my own

Unless I am dependent on good God

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Happy Independence Day to all my American Friends. This might means so much to you as it means so much to us Filipinos when we celebrate our independence from Spanish and American colonies. But honestly, I am not so sure if we are truly independent as a nation. Can one indeed be free just because the tangible prison wall is brought down?

What I am sure is I am free when I allow my Saviour to rescue me from the intangibles that imprison and stop me from being a good girl.

How about you, are you a good girl? Are you free?

You may not answer the questions but please feel free to listen to this  song.

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In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free. – Psalm 118:5

🙂


Or any other contest where a Filipino or with a hint of a Filipino wasn’t proclaimed the winner.

Ugly words can be heard all over. Or is it just me who doesn’t like the sound of “Racism” when it could really be not. Or “The winner is not really beautiful or smart or talented” or “The judges and voters are unfair”.

Millions of Filipinos could be bitter, salty, sour or a combination of two or three.

I am not sure if there’s even a food that tastes good with all three flavors in it.

I am a Filipino with 1 liter of Chinese blood. And I would be one of the happiest if Jessica Sanchez won the American Idol title.

I am a human with 5 liters of red blood. And I would be one of the happiest if we are gracious enough to accept that someone is better than us by human standard.

I am not a TV fan thus I’m not a fanatic of American Idol or any show. If I can, I only watch the finals where a Filipino is a finalist. I love Filipinos — how they can be very resilient, kind, beautiful, talented – but even then, no race has a monopoly of these qualities.

I may be sad but I am happy as well with the result of American Idol Season 11. A Filipina is first runner up. Wow! Congratulations Jessica Sanchez! You are a great singer and how you have dealt with the defeat is a sure win!

And congratulations Phillip Phillips! How you dealt with victory sealed the title! I enjoyed your finale performance and I like the song “Home” especially the line, “Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear…”

He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means, “Be opened!”)– Mark 7:34

🙂

Any Idea?

04/29/2012


We are officially sold. We are no longer part of the pharmaceutical business. We are just a nutritionals and food business. Some of my colleagues were notified already that their services are only needed until end of May.

Years ago, months ago, days ago we all have no idea that we will be part of this. By ‘this’ I mean what is currently happening to us. By ‘us’ I mean US – U and Spoon. We already have our own plans for the future. Plans on what, when, where and how things will happen. But these are all uncertain because only God knows why things should happen.

And so life goes on. There is no stopping us and the kiddos in watching The Avengers. We all like superheroes but as Captain America said, “There is only one God and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” And I say amen to that.

I have been telling myself that I’ll cross the bridge when I reach there, wherever ‘there’ is. Now I have second thoughts because my Super God might have a different idea – fly me or plant me? What bridge?

I dare not ask why. He will let me know — or not. He will let me grow – oh yes.

 

P.S.  Someone do you wrong? May we never forget that we are not The Avengers.

P.S.2 Any idea for the title?

 

However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him”—1 Corinthians 2:9

🙂


Prompt from Bluebell Books Short Story Slam Week 19

Image Credit to Whitebook @ DeviantArt, titled A Christmas Story for Rezzan

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I ran away from him. It was Christmas time.

That was years ago. Not for good. Just for awhile.

I was confused and in pain.

Faith is amazing. It made me go back.

It connected me to God.

Faith is trusting in the now – that right now great things are unfolding no matter how unbelievable it is. What seems dead may be breathing for new life.

Faith is being excited about tomorrow – that tomorrow great things will be unfolded no matter how unbelievable it may be. What seems dead is alive and fruitful!

Faith is amazing. Faith got me back.

It connected me to God’s graces.

I was overwhelmed and in His arms.

That is now and tomorrow. For good. Not just for awhile.

I ran towards Him. It is me, Rea.

 

Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour. – Matthew 15:28

🙂